In this essay, Karou Miyazawa reflects on how she was both insider and outsider during her fieldwork in Fukushima, Japan, between 2013 and 2016, after the 2011 earthquake, tsunami, and nuclear power plant explosion devastated the region. During her time in Fukushima, Miyazawa experienced the emotions of community members as well as her own, which were rooted in specific individual and collective memories. While her nostalgic memories of home pulled her inside the community, community members' anger and skepticism toward researchers, which stemmed from memories of the wartime atomic bombings, pushed her outside the community. Based on this experience, Miyazawa has reconceptualized agency as one's ability to be susceptible to various emotions that circulate in the community and to move toward and/or away from insider and outsider positions. This new approach allows researchers to recognize the agency of their participants, form dialogic relationships with them, and collaboratively give testimonies over the long term. Miyazawa contends that such relationships will contribute to the decolonization of research.

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