Even today, moms and dads of kids with disabilities are sometimes counseled that a child's disability will make life harder for the other children in the family. We are seldom told how they will love each other or learn from each other. “He is heavy, and he's my brother,” my sons would say. Disability is real, and so is love. Lifting weights makes you stronger; transferring your brother makes you stronger. Caring for your brother makes you stronger, too. The heart is a muscle.

It is commonplace for moms and dads to worry: Do I love each of my children equally? Do I do enough for each of them? If I do so much for my child with a disability is there enough left over for my other children? When our children are very different from each other, this worry is sometimes overwhelming. Even...

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